One More Year in The Little House with Chipped Paint

The morning the Indigo Buntings didn’t come home

Original pic of birdhouse in the grass island

Where did the Indigo go? All morning, the woman watched out the window. Looking up from her work. She longed for the Indigo Buntings to come home. The mother and father. To raise their family.

They come back every year. And this year. They fussed at the little paint-chipped house. And then flew off.

The woman mourned, “I long for the Indigo Buntings to come home.”

The woman was such a mother. Wanting to make it right for them. Trying to figure out what the problem was so she could fix it. So she could share in the sweet voices of their babies again this year. So their babies would be safe and they would feel protected. Welcomed.

They’ve been raising their babies in the birdhouse on the grass island outside the kitchen window. For years. Yesterday they came to move back in. And something was wrong. They fussed and puzzled.

The roof was missing. The boy child knew.

The woman talked to her child about it and he told her the roof fell off and he tried to find it one day but he couldn’t. So they went out to the birdhouse and found the roof and topped it back on the house.

The woman had been waiting for their return. They always came the day it turned warm for the season. They knew when this was. Was it too late? She worried, “I should have thought to do this in the winter. We knew the little house needed repairs. But I let life stall me out with all the other tasks and now I might miss the sweet chatter of the new babies this spring. I might have missed my chance.”

And she knew, this is how the mind takes over and makes an act of care into a tragedy. A personal flaw. A declaration of another example of the lack in life. The grief of loss for this thing that didn’t happen.

She was so sad. Maybe if they were dead it would be easier. Then she could just grieve and be done with it. But they were likely still out there somewhere. Making a home somewhere else. Maybe not as nice. Not familiar like their old home.

The woman knew she had to let it go. The voice was telling her to release the grief. Release the identity as the grief holder. And remember, she is Source. She is the very Vastness where the Indigos arise from. Where she arises from. She knew she is not this flesh and bones first. She is Source first. But the pattern of obsessing about not getting her way was a deep groove. Hard to crawl out of. Hard to remember how to. Hard to see over the edge.

And then she heard the voice again. The breath. Use the breath to remember. To connect. Breath is spaciousness. It has no edges. It has no smell. Unless you forgot to brush your teeth. It can feel warm if you cup your hands gently around your nose. Like when you cup them together to drink water from a natural spring. And it makes a sound too when you do this. The air sounds like rushing water. Interesting.

The voice told her. Focus on a point in space. In your mind’s eye. Place the point as far away as you can. It’s a star in the Vastness. Place your focus there. Laser beam. Train the mind to fall away. Allow the emotions to slide off. To shed.

And now look to the tree where you want to see the Indigos perched. The mind tries to take over, “They still aren’t there! This isn’t working!” Keep the focus on the far off point in the mind’s eye. A dot. A speck. This point is an anchor. It is always here. Use it. All through the day, this anchor is here to tether you to Source. Keep awareness of the tether. If you forget, it’s ok. You’re far enough along, you will remember. The more you remember and the more you place your awareness here, the less suffering you will slip into during the day. The family dramas. The never-ending chores. Meals. Dishes. Fixing little birdhouses.

All of that will still be here, but you will be experiencing it from a place of freedom from suffering.

Make yourself look into the empty tree. Look at the tree and focus on the anchor and see what happens.

And to the woman’s delight, the Indigos came back! To sniff it out. The woman grabbed the binoculars. She felt the excitement that comes from things turning out. And she knew instantly that this was a trap. A shiny jewel the mind was trying to dangle in front of her. So she would lose connection with her tether. She watched the feelings and thoughts unfold. Feeling herself not get fully sucked into the identity of it all.

And then the Indigos left again. Flew away. And the sadness came back. But it was lighter now. There was less desperation. Less attachment. And the dot in the far depths was maintained. She felt this anchor pulling her back into the eternal. The Vastness.

And then they came back again! And the pull of excitement was less. She let this flow as the Indigos came and left. Feeling the excitement when they came loosen its grip. Feeling the sadness soften. These beautiful creatures were showing her how to care for her connection to True Self. How to foster and strengthen the connection.

The cat wanted to go outside and she hesitated. She didn’t want him to scare off the birds. But he never caught a bird. In the 8 years they had him. He caught a few lizards and wounded a butterfly or two. He kept the mice from deciding to take up residence in the home. But he never left the gift of a dead bird on the welcome mat.

The woman knew this was another trap. An attempt to control the outcome. And she placed her awareness on the dot. Deep inside. In a Vastness with no edges. No walls. No end. And she let the cat out.

The morning unfolded. A little brown bird teasing right outside the window. And the Buntings. Reworking the nest to have their Baby Buntings. Perhaps. And the woman, practicing holding the tether. The tether to the eternal.

The tether to Freedom.

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