No one is coming to rescue you from your unfulfilling life.

You have to take matters into your own hands.

Photo by marko on Unsplash

We think we’re in control.

We’re not. Our mind is.

We don’t even know it. The chatter is our background noise. It’s so constant and normal we don’t even hear it. So how do we see it’s even a problem?

Something has to spark a wake-up in us.

For me it was to dive into the deep end of the study and intense practice of mindfulness. Prompted by the desperate urge to get my sh!t together so I can pass it on to our kids. Kids will make us crack and make us grow.

Practicing mindfulness has been the hardest and most boring thing I have ever stuck with. It’s been a buzzword that intellectually made sense but never grabbed hold of me.

Until this year.

Girl on fire

One of my biggest fears in becoming mindful is that I will lose my fire.

I fear having inner Peace means you give up intensity.

Intensity isn’t a nasty word we need to wash our mouths out over. It gets a bad rap because we usually associate it with anger, blame, frustration, grief, fear.

I love intensity. It fuels me.

It also throws me off track in a split second.

Hollywood and writers know the hero story. Luke Skywalker learning to redirect his intense frustration into levitating a starship out of the swamp muck. Harry Potter channeling his intense fear toward his real power.

Mindfulness isn’t about giving up intensity. It’s about mastering the skill of focusing our intensity where we choose to.

My goal is to stop dumping my intensity into blame, feeling like a victim, being angry and grudgeful.

And instead point it in the direction of learning to feel the intensity of Unconditional Love.

Eyes pried open

The spark to wake me up also sucked me into the world of writing.

When I started this writing journey a few months ago I didn’t know what my niche would be. I was in the “I don’t have anything of value to share” camp. I made a quick decision to go with a suggestion from my writing mentors. Unfold a journey in public.

I popped a statement in my Twitter/X bio “I’m on a mad quest to go from stressed mom, wife, nurse to sustained Enlightenment in less than a year.”

This public statement did two things. It held me accountable. I have to do this now! I told Elon and everyone I would.

And it unleashed an invitation to the universe to bring it on. Announcing I’m fully receptive for support and guidance. Pry open my eyes like Alex in A Clockwork Orange.

Wait for it

Writing is bringing up questions I didn’t even know I had. I’m having aha’s about concepts I’ve sat on the surface of for years. Like mindfulness. And the spaciousness of our inner self.

I’m seeing things I didn’t know I didn’t know.

Meditation is helping me answer the questions. I see how my daily practice is feeding into my life all day. I’m finding myself in one of those, “Does this fit me anymore?” phases. I realized I’m not even wearing matching socks anymore.

I’m on a determined quest to know and live Peace and Joy. And apparently matching socks are not important on this stretch of the road.

Stop riding @ss

Meditation is also helping me not get pulled off into the great abyss by my intense nature.

Someone cut me off in traffic this week. I felt that instant shock of hormones getting me ready for battle. I felt myself wanting to tailgate in retaliation.

In less than a few seconds the voice in my head comes chiming in, “Clear your mind. Feel the intensity extracted from the emotions about the event.”

So I did. The wave of anger passed. And I sent a sincere message, full of the intensity of the moment, through the air “Good morning!” as I shared the road with the other Mom in a hurry to get her kids to school.

Final Thoughts

We’re a lazy species living dead end lives. Dissatisfied. Unhappy.

And there’s no Fairy Godmother coming to wave her magic wand and sprinkle dust to set us free from ourselves.

We have to put our big boy and girl pants on and decide if we’re going all in to make the choice to rescue ourself and get to know our real identity.

Three must-have tools, mindfulness, meditation, and writing will nudge-shove you into knowing your true essence. And will accelerate unfolding the path of living the deeply fulfilling life you are here to live.

Now it’s your turn. Tell me what tools help you connect in the comments.