I Write for the Love of It
And because I don't need another chore
I’m having a writer's voice crisis.
Struggling with shifting to telling stories from the power of “I” and not have it sound like a Dear Diary entry.
Why do I even want to write? How do I even want to write?
I write to get clear about who I am in life. So I can reach a level of Enlightenment that I can be satisfied with. Even if I don’t reach Jesus level of Enlightenment. I want to reach a level so I can enjoy life. In Joy.
I write to get clear about where I am in life. It’s a daily reminder of why I’m even here. To grow. To expand. To share. To inspire. To break the code. Climb out of the sick controlling mind we live under. My mind. The mind of the greater consciousness.
I write because I want to be an inspirer. I want to wake up to life and I want to help others wake up. I want to channel the wisdom from the ethers that is the message I’m supposed to be sharing. I want to share my take on things so those who are supposed to read it will say, “Oh my god! That’s so me!”
What about the money
I write because I crave unfolding my visions. And my visions need money and resources. I see writing as putting my energy out there. Playing the lottery. You have to buy a ticket to win. I see putting myself out there with my writing as opening up opportunities for the Law of Attraction to have a bigger playing field. More entry points to show up and flow in.
I love adventure. I want to have the money to travel. I want to see the beauty and experience the richness of different cultures. When I go on vacation, I want it to really feel like I’m on vacation. Freedom. Relaxation. Instead of just a different setting for me to feel anxiety and pressure of life to get all the chores done and needs taken care of. I want to feel a level of happiness. Peace. Joy at home in the mundane so I can carry that awe with me in my travels.
Writing to connect
I don’t want my writing to consume my life. I don’t want to live in front of a screen looking out the window. I want to be out the window. Outside. Gardening. Swimming. Hiking. Taking care of small livestock. Chickens. Maybe goats. Living the experiences that are worth writing about.
I write to form authentic bonds with others who are physically worlds away. The ultimate gift of the internet.
The voice in my head. I consider this upbeat, encouraging voice God. She is telling me I need to stop trying so hard. Relax and write for me. Write for me and her. And see what happens.
I started breathwork recently and I notice myself holding my breath a lot. And when I catch myself doing this I realize I do not feel connected to anything. I’m lost in my head, holding my breath. I write to breathe and breathe to write.
Imposter Syndrome
If imposter syndrome were considered a mental illness, I would have a severe to profound case of it.
I’m weary from reading about how to make your millions online. It’s exhausting. I don’t care if my millions come from writing online. I care about making my millions. So I can feed the causes to help raise others up. Because others are a part of the same juice of life. You are me and I am you. Housed in different bodies and hiding behind different personalities.
I especially want to help the kids. I have a huge heart for kids. I gravitate toward them at social events. I love their energy. Their excitement for life. They haven’t been beaten down by the ego yet. And the ones that have been, they are the ones I want to help nurture and shower with love so they can heal quickly and bring their inspiration to keep the light growing.
Final thought
So here I am at 627 word count. I’ve been told I need to write 1000 words for a good story. Or 800 at least. Somewhere in the 600s seems to be my easy spot at the moment. The place where the flow of thoughts end. If I keep trying to milk it, I end up spending days writing one story instead of just hours. So I’ll leave it at this.
I wish you the highest and best day and life you are here to live.
Connie! While reading this I thought about the movies (and a Twilight Zone or two) where there are no other people on the planet. What would we dare to write about if there was no one else to hear our message? It makes sense to check ourselves now and then . . . whatever kind of creator we are . . . and ask what are we doing. I am also drawn to your attraction to the energy of kids . . . is it meaningful that you included this in the section "Imposter Syndrome"? I feel drawn to creators (Syd Barrett of early Pink Floyd is one, but there are others) who radiate a childlike egolessness. . . which shows up in many ways: desire to play, lightheartedness, anti-gravity. And being curious about pretty much anything. As you Dance on the Edge of Enlightenment, I wish you all the "juice" to "break the code" as you discover a lottery of joys where you win when you lose and where the dark makes sparks . . .
I personally prefer reading a 500-700 word post. I also really love reading about why someone writes. It makes me re-visit time and again, why do I keep doing this thing that I have been doing since I was seven years old. You said it. I write to breathe. I breathe to write. It's in me. I can't help it. Without writing, I feel like I lose air and the energy to fully live.