How I Lost It Over Fajitas and Found Myself Again

When a missing side of guac became my teacher

Nov 12, 2025

His words hit me like a ton of bricks.

Well, more accurately, the energy behind his words.
This man had to be an elf in a previous life. Or maybe even this life.

Eckhart Tolle.
I’ve been re-listening to his book A New Earth. It is a masterpiece tool for integrating higher consciousness.

It’s all about the ego. And I’ve listened to it through the eyes of the ego several times. It was a much different experience back then.

This time, although I’m no Saint of No Ego, I’ve been training my ass off to hear the voice of the ego playing like a broken record in the background of life. And the emotions that play right into the tragic horror movie I insisted on watching for decades.

“The ego is not only the unobserved mind, the voice in the head which pretends to be you, but also the unobserved emotions that are the body’s reaction to what the voice in the head is saying.”
— Eckhart Tolle

These are the words I heard in every cell of my body this time. Like a tuning fork. Everything came crashing down. Came into focus. Key word, unobserved. Because once we observe the egoic mind stories and the reactive emotions, they lose their power.

I was carpooling the kids to school when I heard it. I had to pause the book and let it soak in. Feel the depth of the understanding.

Of course! Thank you, Master Elf Tolle.

The ego is not the enemy. We can’t stop the thoughts that come through or the emotions that arise from them. But we can learn to recognize the thoughts and emotions. We can call them out. Label them for what they are: a story, a theatrical play.
And we can train ourselves not to get immersed in the play.

Tempting as it is. Because it feels familiar. And we’re “good” at it.
We know how to ruminate and worry and blame. We know what a wired, anxious, toxic body feels like. It’s our baseline. It feels normal.

I wrote a Substack note recently…

I’ve been doing a roll call in the events, interactions, and unfolding of the day as an awareness practice, so I can be sure everyone is accounted for and no one is trying to hide out.

Egoic Mind Story? “Present.”
Reacting Emotion? “Geez, I’m here. Duh.”
Spacious Consciousness? “Yep, I’m right here, right now.“

With everyone clearly exposed and accounted for, I can choose where I go with it.

I had a great opportunity to practice this during a family day of hiking in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains and eating in the lovely town of Brevard, NC.

My protein shake had worn off. I was dragged down by a collective grumpiness.
My husband and I got fajitas to share, and they came without the side of guac and beans and rice. I kind of snapped. Lost it. Not in a big fury, but I did grab my jacket and announced I wasn’t hungry and went outside to sit on a cold metal bench.

I didn’t laugh out loud at my reaction, but I felt such an immediate awareness of what was going on.
Hi there, egoic mind story, telling me life is unfair and I never get what I want and people always wreck my lovely day.
Oh, and hi there, emotion, doing your part to play it up and add excitement and hormones to the mix.

But this time was so different.
The speed that I recognized what was going on.
The knowing I didn’t have to go to battle.
The lack of added guilt for “acting a fool.”

Because I knew it wasn’t me at all reacting.
It was the egoic self.
And I didn’t have to claim guts and glory over the event.

Just by becoming clear about what was going on, I was able to see through the veil that in the past has blinded me for eons.
And I was able to reconnect with the spaciousness that had been quietly with me all day on our beautiful fall leaf drive and mountain hike.

It truly was an exhale.
Just writing about it now makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time.

What a liberation. From a self-induced hard life.

Coming home feels so… awww.

Wishing you laughter the next time your ego steals the guac.

💚✨ Dancing on the Edge of Enlightened

—Edge Dancer · Connie